Honor and respect are the fastest way to a man’s heart. Even faster than love itself. This is something I have been dwelling on a lot lately as it is a bit a revelation for me. My brain works in lists and sometimes I just gotta write down ways to honor my husband since it is a relatively new concept for me to strive for. I consider myself to be doing pretty good if I do even one of these per day.
1. Speak of his strengths
What are the accomplishments, commendable characteristics, and strengths he holds? Mentioning these things in a genuine way while in a group setting uplifts your man and shows others his positive characteristics. I know I have been too guilty of mentioning my husbands weaknesses and the things that annoy me more often than his strengths.
As the woman, we play a role in how others perceive our boyfriend or husband. When others hear the person closest to him commending their character, actions, or deeds they can see the honor due to him.
2. Honor his daily decisions
Every day your husband/boyfriend makes hundreds of small decisions. These are small decisions such as what to eat, what to wear, directions to an event, what his hobbies are, how he rests, how he works, how punctual or late he is for appointments, etc.
These decisions most often do not have long term effects and are ones that we should allow our men to make on their own. Not only are these things that we as women would not like to have analyzed and harped on ourselves, but they can also make a man feel terribly childish and disrespected when there is not allowance to decide for himself.
3. Do extra acts of service both when he asks and before he asks
If there is ever an event that makes me want to roll my eyes, it is when my hubby asks me if I can get him a glass of water right as I’m about to sit down. If I’m being honest, a big part of me just wants to say ‘why couldn’t you ask me that 5 seconds ago before I was about to sit?’ or ‘get it yourself.’ And If I’m being even more honest, sometimes I do both.
My husband isn’t asking for the moon when he asks for a glass of water. Nor is he going to become incapable of doing things himself if I seek to help and serve him. Its a glass of water. Getting a glass of water or doing an extra chore for him actually makes him feel valued by me. When I give a little more in serving him, he feels honored and uplifted.
4. Take interest in his interests
As I’m going down this list, I don’t think any of these are getting any easier for me. I often overlook my husbands interests as ‘his thing’ and they are separate from ‘my thing.’
Men love to do life through side-by-side experience. Getting in the garage is not my favorite thing to do but even if I am typing away on my computer while he is turning wrenches, he feels connected to me because I have entered his space.
His interests may be exercise, trucks, cars, hiking, biking, building, reading, movies, driving, hunting, coffee, computer/video games, camping, happy hour, fishing, photography, skateboarding, or some other thing. Spending time with him in one or a few of his interests shows you value the things that bring him joy.
5. Compliment him when no one else is around
Tell him something you admire or respect about him. Just as it is important to compliment him in groups, it is important to compliment him when its just the two of you. This brings genuine compliments out and helps him to know that you honor him in all environments.
6. Thank him regularly
Thank him especially for the things he works hard on for you. Hearing thank you shows him that you see the deeds he is doing, the efforts he is putting in and valuing his work. It can also be very motivating for him to continue doing his good work if he knows you are seeing it and appreciating it.
7. Be patient with his mistakes
Mistakes will happen, if they haven’t already. Some of the same mistakes will happen over and over and thats okay. He is trying and we can be patient while he goes through the process. Showing grace is an act of love and it can require more than you have to give. Rely on the Lord to give you patience and wisdom when accidents, mistakes, and extraordinary circumstances occur.