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How to Rest Well

March 8, 2018 By lynnaeatoews 2 Comments

The title of this post is pretty comical for me because I am in no way, shape, or form a good rester. I am better than I used to be but it is not a natural thing for me to do. This winter I started trying to be more intentional about resting. By resting I mean taking one full day off from my normal work and routine and doing things that are fulfilling, fun, and restful. I was surprised how much harder it was to do than I anticipated. I realized that I am pretty terrible at resting. My journey of rest is still ongoing but I have laid out a few things I have personally found helpful below.

What it’s not:

Rest. I used to think it meant doing nothing. And doing nothing to me meant sitting on the couch, watching TV, and/or scrolling through social media on my phone. So when I did that at the beginning of implementing a sabbath in my life, I was shocked when at the end of the day I felt more empty than filled! What was the point of taking a break from cooking and cleaning to have an insanely messy house come Monday morning that took twice as long to clean up, if it drained me?

What it can be:

Eventually I came to the realization that I was doing a couple of things wrong. I wasn’t preparing for rest and I wasn’t doing something that was restful for ME, even though it was restful for my husband. This is when I knew things were bad, I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WHAT GAVE ME REST! And this just screamed that I needed a sabbath all the more. I was so far removed from it that I didn’t even know how to do it.

The hardest part about resting was figuring out what filled me up. So often I would think of rest only in the physical sense and forget my needs for mental, emotional, and spiritual rest. When I thought of it that way, I had to start with a list of things that sounded refreshing to me.

Hiking
Walks
Family time
Reading
Not dishes
Not laundry
Not cooking
Not cleaning

My list was short, with just as many things ‘to’ do as ‘not to’ do. But it gave me a starting point. I looked at the things that I didn’t want to do and wondered how I would be able to put off those things – especially cooking – for one day.

Preparation

This is where I saw my great need to prepare for rest. I couldn’t just plop down on my couch in an instant without first giving some areas of my life attention. Saturdays would play a key role in my preparation. Below I have shared a few things that I do now that get me ready to rest. Usually this takes about a half a day for me to accomplish with a small baby.

Cooking: I knew I couldn’t get rid of cooking altogether because, hey we have to eat something a few times a day right? So I make our meals as simple and easy as possible. Saturday night I try to make a large meal that has plenty of leftovers on Sunday for lunch. For Sunday dinner I reverted to the easiest thing I know: brinner (breakfast for dinner). Brinner requires very little thought or creativity for me and I almost always have the ingredients on hand. Pancakes with bananas, apple or whatever item I feel like adding have been a staple the past few weeks for us. My husband is very good at making breakfast so occasionally he will cook eggs and hash browns or some other creation, which is even better because then I don’t have to cook at all!

Cleaning/dishes: Throughout the day on Saturday I make sure my laundry is folded instead of sitting on the couch. Even if the pile sits there all week long, it is put away for one day and I don’t have to look at it. I also do any of the cleaning that I know I won’t be able to look at on Sunday. Sometimes its a dirty toilet, sometimes its my stove top, etc. I clean my kitchen a little better than I would a normal night so that it takes a little longer to get messy. Saturday after dinner I do all my dishes to the fullest extent. I make sure that I have an empty or mostly empty dishwasher that I can toss plates and cups into as they are used on Sunday. I still have dishes in the sink by Sunday night but there are those few items that made it into the dishwasher and will save a few minutes later.

Actual Rest

As for the fun/restful part of my Sunday, it looks a lot like reading and napping throughout the afternoon right now. Sometimes writing if I feel like it will build me up rather than make me toil. Sometimes reading my bible, sometimes not. Sometimes a family hike or walk together. Sometimes coffee and a treat at a coffee shop. Sometimes a bath or long shower with essential oils. It just depends what I’m feeling that day. Almost every week is still trial and error as I test out different things that I think may fill me up. If it doesn’t work, I remember for next week and try something else. Above all, rest has to be enjoyable. It has to be something that gives you life rather than takes it from you.

*sidenote for parents: It can be hard to take a break when you have little ones because their needs are so immediate. But something Dave and I have found to help is taking turns taking care of our baby. Dave usually puts him down for a nap, gets him up and changes him or plays with him for a little while so I feel like I get a small break from moming. This is usually when I nap, read by myself in bed, or sometimes leave the house by myself. And then when I’m watching Remmik, Dave can do his fun or relaxing thing. Each week we are still figuring out what works for both my husband and I. The first few weeks held lots conversations that involved both asking more or asking less of the other.

*sidenote for students: When I was a student I totally hated Sunday nights because I had all of my homework due that night or the next morning at class. Instead of Sundays being restful, they were filled with anxiety about the work I had yet to complete. Something I would advise for you to do is pick a different day of the week to have a sabbath. Or if you still want to keep it on Sundays, I would suggest doing the harder homework items on Saturday and leaving the easier stuff for Sunday. Do anything to lighten the load on your day of rest if you can’t completely omit homework from it.

Benefits of Rest

When I wake up on Monday mornings, I am actually excited to clean my house. And I have an excitement for Mondays for the first time ever! Maybe it’s because I’ve been resisting tidying messes for a day but maybe also because I actually took a break from my norm and I am ready to dive back in. On Sundays I enjoy myself and I’m more enjoyable for my husband to be around. I notice that my joy carries into the week as well and I seem to be more light-hearted and relaxed even when things get overwhelming for me.

Including another “thing” into your schedule is hard but sometimes it helps to see the purpose of it. The purpose of rest is:

To trust God. Our world won’t crash if we don’t clean, work or accomplish something.
To humble ourselves. We’re not as important as we think we are. Things will carry on just fine without us for one day.
To remember who we are. We are not our accomplishments. We are who God says we are.

When we dive into those things head on, then we get the benefits of joy, relaxation, and light-heartedness.

If you’ve never thought about what a day of rest looks like for you, it is worth investigating. Jesus rested and God himself rested in Genesis after taking 6 days to create the world. Each of us is unique in the things that give us relaxation and fulfillment. Add a little preparation in your life in order to give yourself space to breath and take life in, instead of breathing life out.

March Inspirational Woman: Molly Hardwick

March 1, 2018 By lynnaeatoews 2 Comments

Meet Molly! She is the Creative Director and Founder of The Simple Kind, an ethical fashion company that creates stunning dresses for women and children. She hails from Austin, TX and is a doer in a world full of talkers. Not only does she create these timeless dresses, connect vulnerable women with meaningful employment, she is also a student and teacher through her company. She educates about the pit falls of the fast fashion industry and shows what we can do to change the world with how we shop. It’s no wonder she is Rosebud’s first Inspo Woman!

1. What is the issue with fast fashion and how did learning about it lead you to start your ethical fashion company, The Simple Kind?

Fast fashion is basically a sales model in which brands churn out new styles more frequently, using mass production of garments to lower costs so that consumers can keep up with rapidly changing trends and essentially buy more. This model is everywhere, and companies like Forever21, HM, & Zara lead the way! From the outside this may not seem like much of an issue, but once you flip it over you see the astonishing trail of exploitation that is necessary for this method of production to be possible. It all exists in a really complex web of global economics and laissez faire capitalism that I’m still trying my darndest to understand, so I’ll just give the jist of it here:

The demand for a steady stream of inexpensive garments creates a demand for cheap labor and raw materials, so these brands have moved their production overseas to nations with developing economies where their price points can be more easily met. The demand for jobs is often high in these nations, so it WOULD seem like a win-win scenario for everyone– except for the key factor that the bottom line for these brands is saving money to make money, not providing good jobs to people who need them. These brands contract out labor to manufacturing facilities in developing nations, where they are able to save money by chronically underpaying their workers and skimping on health and safety standards, leaving enormous footprints of environmental and human rights violations along the way.

Garment work is an easy job to score for people migrating to cities in search of employment, especially for those who haven’t received or completed an education. Unfortunately, these jobs tend to keep people poor instead of lift them out of poverty. Salaries below a living wage mean that parents can’t ensure healthcare or education to their children, who often drop out of school to help their parents make ends meet. The list of these injustices goes on and on! One recent study among women working in the commercial sex industry in Phnom Penh, Cambodia found that over half of the women had come to prostitution as a better alternative to working in garment factories– the transition actually improved their finances & quality of life.

The Simple Kind was born out of a desire to connect economically vulnerable women with creative, meaningful employment. It’s only been along the way, through lots of study and research, that we’ve uncovered the role that fast fashion has played in exploiting vulnerable communities and contributing to the human trafficking epidemic. It’s CRAZY! So now our goal is just to invest in the local economies from which women are frequently trafficked, and to continue learning how to be a healthy contribution to works of justice already in place.

2. Tell us about The Simple Kind, what do you hope to instill in your customers?

The Simple Kind is an ethical fashion company that believes beauty & kindness can change the world. We make simple, classically feminine dresses for women & children, and try to be as mindful as we can about what kind of fabric we use, where it comes from, and that the women who make our clothes are cared for as human beings. It started out as just me sewing dresses for the love of fashion, but our current production partnership is with an incredible organization in Latvia called Freedom61.

The Simple Kind Summer 2017 Collection

F61 began as an outreach to women working in prostitution in Riga, the nation’s capital. Job scarcity, rural poverty, and lack of formal education are usually what brings women to working on the streets; all of these are a symptom of a depressed economy that is still trying to stand on its feet after its entry into the global market in the post-Soviet 1990s. Over time, F61‘s work has expanded into walking with these women into new lives of health and wholeness. They opened a transition center in the countryside of Latvia, and as part of their program’s financial and vocational training aspect, we’ve begun teaching women going through their program how to sew our designs. Some of them love it, and some of them don’t like it at all and choose to do other things. It’s a very slow, relational process, but we believe it is an enormously valuable investment to truly get to know the people we are working with. One of the woman we employed last year is now in the process of returning to the center as a staff member to invest in the lives of the women who come through and to also offer sewing training in their own language!

We are currently in a season of contemplating what sustainable expansion looks like for this partnership. It has been a very relational progression of working together, and we are at the point that we are both ready to start growing into long-term employment on their end and a more efficient order fulfillment operation on our end. I’m spending this summer in Latvia to pursue a vision of what this might look like!

3. You’re getting married this fall (congrats!) and plan to have an ethical wedding, how does one go about doing that?

I’m not sure we’ve ever talked super directly about wanting to have an “ethical wedding”; I think after a while, being mindful of the hands that made the things you buy kind of becomes a way of life! Our plan of action is to keep things personal and local, and to be mindful of not creating waste. We want to make sure everything is directly supporting something we believe in. We’re hiring our friends who are great at what they do to help make our wedding day sweet– our decor is coming from a little vintage shop whose owners we just adore, The Simple Kind’s faithful photographer is taking photos, our musician friends are coordinating sound, florist friends are doing flowers, etc. My wedding dress is vintage, and my fiance’s sister is making dresses for my bridesmaids. Nathanael hasn’t found a suit yet, but I know he’s gonna keep that thing forever, and I think that’s a huge part of ethical fashion– making loved clothes last, no matter where they’re from!

Something else worth mentioning: a friend of mine runs an online platform to connect engaged couples to ethical businesses in the wedding industry, and/or those that are willing to give a portion of the profits from your wedding towards anti-trafficking organizations around the world. This genius idea is called LoveGivesWay!

4. What are some of your favorite eco-conscious brands?

Okay, my top three!

First, there’s a jewelry company in Cambodia called Penh Lenh that is the absolute cream of the crop. Their name means “whole” in the Khmer language, and their mission is to empower marginalized and at-risk women in Cambodia to pursue their life goals through quality education and sustainable employment. I’m lucky enough to have visited their studio, and it may be the most peaceful & joyful workspace I’ve ever seen. They make super fashion-forward jewelry (that Lauren Conrad wears!); I want to buy everything they make but… I’m pacing myself.
Second, I am an ever-increasing fan of Everlane. They are a clothing brand out of San Francisco that has long-term, transparent relationships with healthy garment factories around the world. I’m usually not a big wearer of basics (t-shirts, shirt dresses, etc.), but their pieces just feel high quality. I bought a t-shirt from them a week or so ago and I can’t express how amazed and delighted I was when I took it out of the package and put it on. I’ve NEVER been a t-shirt girl, but they have won me over. Their prices are excellent, and if they overproduce an item, they have a “choose what you pay” option on their website.
Third, there’s a wonderful revival of linen happening right now in apparel, and one of the loveliest makers of linen garments that I’ve seen is a family-owned business in Lithuania called OffOn. They have an Etsy store full of linen dresses and jumpsuits for mom & daughter. Linen is not only luxurious by reputation, but it’s one of the most eco-friendly textiles because its natural fibers are made from the flax plant, which usually doesn’t require much pesticide to grow. The dresses OffOn makes are so lovely and so classic; they’re on my wishlist 🙂

5. How can someone take their first steps into ethical clothing? Where is a good place to start and/or avoid?

There’s a mantra that simplifies the slow fashion movement and it goes, “buy less, choose well, make it last.” Instead of going shopping every weekend to buy things you probably don’t need (that aren’t well made and won’t last long anyways), get reintroduced to the items already in your closet and figure out what you love and why. Lean into your own personal sense of style, and develop a long-term relationship with your clothing. When you know you actually need to buy something new, do your research! Clothing brands that you want to support will go beyond just quoting something about social responsibility at the bottom of their webpage (that’s gotten trendier these days, but it usually doesn’t mean much). Look for brands that talk transparently about who made their clothes, what conditions they work in, and how much they’re paid. Certifications to look for on tags that guarantee just treatment of workers along the supply chain are things like Fair Trade Certified, Global Organic Textile Standard (GOTS), and B-Corporations. A good rule of thumb is to only make purchases that you know you will wear more than thirty times. They may be more expensive up front, but they are built to last! And my personal opinion… don’t fall for HM’s green initiative. Their business model of fast fashion is fundamentally incompatible with curbing the tide of worker exploitation, and the rate that they recycle garments does not compare with the rate at which they make brand new ones. If you really wanna be green, go thrift shopping!

6. Where can people reach you and/or find out more about The Simple Kind?

Right now, the best place to do either of those is through our Instagram, @thesimplekind. We’re on a little sabbatical this spring to prepare for our extended trip to Latvia this summer (which we’ll document with photos and stories!), so we aren’t selling anything currently. But all of our happenings & updates will filter through our Instagram, and I’m happy to answer messages there as well!

Confessions of a Bad Friend

February 22, 2018 By lynnaeatoews Leave a Comment

After last week’s long and REAL post about postpartum I decided to keep this week’s post short and light. I’ve been thinking about friendship lately and every time I do, this story comes to mind. About two weeks ago I made a confession to some friends and their reaction was exactly what you would expect from good friends. I’ve posted below the actual message I wrote but changed a few things from the original for privacy’s sake. Read on to hear my confession as a bad friend.

“Dear Marc and Aaron,

I hope this message is finding you well and this season of life is bringing you joy and fulfillment.

It has come to my attention as of last night that I have had a ‘secret’ that was never shared and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Has it really been 7 years since this event? Do you remember the Christmas potluck we had for the youth ministry staff at church? I think it was 2011 if I remember right. There was a certain sickness that appeared the next day after the party. I remember calling my mom from the bathroom floor, certain I was dying because I had never puked so much and so violently in my life. Later that day I learned the two of you were sick as well. And so began the great case of which potluck item gave us all food poisoning. Anytime the three of us were together for the next 2 weeks the only conversation was cross-examination and “did you eat this?’ or “how bout the salad?” And I would wave my hand and dismiss the questions after awhile. The case was never closed and the mystery remained.

But I’m here to say that I’m quite certain the item I brought gave us all food poisoning.

IT WAS THE CHICKEN!!!

On the afternoon of the party, I strolled on down to Safeway, picked up two rotisserie chickens and went home. I then thought it was a good idea to toss the chickens on the counter, take a nap, and let them sit there until the party. The time was probably 2pm, the party was at 7pm. So as the time got closer to 7, I went to collect my chickens and noticed, “hmm, these aren’t quite as warm as they were when I bought them. Better just pop them in the microwave for a few minutes.” I had thought leaving them out and reheating was a bit of a questionable decision but decided to roll with it anyways.

Our group had a nice time at the party and we left thinking that was that. When I got sick I was kinda bummed but then when I found out you guys were sick also I was completely MORTIFIED, knowing I was likely the cause – and I never told anyone. “Yeah I’ll just go ahead and take this to my grave” was my strategy. So that is why I was so non-compliant with all the questions about what I ate.

In my pursuit of taking it to the grave I think I buried it so deep that I forgot the event even existed. It came to my mind last night and it suddenly felt like a big secret I just had to share and it’s actually quite comical. My sincerest apologies at making you sick, though I suspect you both are more excited to solve the mystery of the sickness after all this time more than being upset about getting sick in the first place.

Love you guys, you are true friends!”

Their reactions were immediate forgiveness and one of them even said “I don’t even remember getting sick! You totally could have taken it to the grave!” To which I had to laugh hysterically and soak up a further appreciation for them in my life. I still believe honesty is the best policy because I got to see that even when I am a crappy friend I am still accepted. Cheers to all the great friendships in our lives!

My Hard Postpartum Experience

February 16, 2018 By lynnaeatoews Leave a Comment

I wrote the first draft of this post when my son Remmik was about two and a half months old. I mostly wrote it for myself as a way to process the newborn stage and the crucible I felt like I had walked through during postpartum. I feel compelled to share my heart in this story for three reasons:

—

To remember what God has done for me

To find freedom through vulnerability

To encourage new or expecting moms that they are not alone.

—

The year of 2017 was an intense but rewarding time for my husband, Dave and I. Early on in the year I prayed about what 2017 would hold and the Spirit of the Lord said to me, “it will not be what you think it will be, but I will be with you”. And to me, this meant the year would be hard and require a lot from us, and it did. And the Lord was with us.

When I was around five months pregnant we began construction on our very first home which was an exciting time. My husband, being a carpenter, did much of the work himself with the amazing help of friends and family. Through building the house our schedule changed from restful nights and weekends to laboring away every spare moment we had. Our home went up fast and furiously and was completed in a short three and a half months. We moved in with wet paint and dusty floors but we had finished the sprint.

Two days after moving in I went into labor. It was a long 36-hour act of love that I am still left so amazed at what the human body can do. My labor was full of strong contractions from the beginning and had very slow dilation the entire time. After delivery, I had significant healing to do that left me unable to walk straight or sit for two weeks. I slept on the couch for the first week because I couldn’t get into my bed. Lying down was my posture and learning to nurse when you can barely roll over was not the easiest thing to do. Honestly, I have very little memory of this time because of the whirlwind that it was. There was mortgage paperwork for our house to figure out, boxes to unpack, medical bills to wade through, new utilities to set up and addresses to change. All of these things suddenly seemed insurmountable with a newborn. Just getting the mail at the post office felt hard; lugging a car seat around that fit awkwardly in my arms.

When Remmik was a week and a half old I got mastitis and had to be put on a ten-day round of antibiotics. Coming from a natural standpoint, I was sad to be taking more antibiotics after receiving 5 rounds during labor. My body already felt so run down and I didn’t want Remmik to receive any more antibiotics. I took the meds so I could get better and then three days after I finished the round of antibiotics I got mastitis again. Five days after that, I got it again. After the fourth time two weeks later I was devastated. Four times in two months was too much for me. Breastfeeding was really important to me and I just felt like I couldn’t do anything in my power to get it right. I was doing everything I could to pump, sanitize and nurse on a schedule and yet I still kept getting so sick. I still get a knot in my stomach when I think about the awful feeling of not being able to get out of bed with a fever and being so sore and achy that you can barely hold your baby but he needs constant attention. The fourth time I got mastitis something broke in me.

“Maybe I’m not cut out for this. What am I doing wrong? Why does this keep happening to me? Where is God in this?”

All of these were questions I had swirling around my head. I also had to admit to myself that I felt shame for not being able to take care of my baby the way I thought I should be able to. It’s never fun to feel these things but, there I was overwhelmed with confusion, sickness, and the feeling of being so powerless.

It had been a long time since I doubted God loved me but the thought crept in that day too.

It is so tempting for me to look back at that time and only remember those extremely hard days. But if I only choose to remember those days as hard, I miss out big time on the goodness of God.

When I wrote the first draft of this post it was at an inconvenient time – 1:30am. It was a couple of days after the final time I had mastitis and had my ‘break down day’ as I will call it. It was a rare night that Remmik had been sleeping for a few hours and yet I laid awake in my bed trying to will myself to sleep. I finally gave up and went to the couch with my journal to process some deep emotions. In the middle of the night God showed me that through all of the hard days, he had given me everything I needed to walk through it.

My mom came for two weeks when Rem was born and took care of me. She baked up a storm of muffins, doughnuts, cookies, and made most, if not all the meals. She cleaned for us and got up in the middle of the night to rock Rem to sleep after I nursed him. Amazing friends answered their phones when I had tears and stopped by with meals after my mom left and held our fussy baby until he fell asleep. Dave’s mom came a few weeks after that for ten days and cleaned, cooked, baked and held our fussy babe some more. Our mortgage was finalized, our bills were figured out. The cause of the mastitis was remedied and I have not had it since. Remmik gained 7 1/2 lbs by two months old. By the time he reached 4 months, he had packed on another 4 1/2 lbs and weighed in at 18 lbs. He had no lack of what he needed thats for sure. I also did amazing emotionally and did not get depressed or discouraged postpartum. I simply remained determined and positive about our new little family. I knew I could do it the whole time leading up to my breakdown day. I also prayed a lot in the middle of the night when I would get up to nurse and I felt close to the Lord and dependent on Him. When I looked back on my time postpartum I understood what some people talk about as God’s grace. Every physical, emotional, relational, financial and spiritual need was given to me from the Lord. I lacked nothing. And that to me is a miracle because I had A LOT of needs to fill. I needed help more than ever before and it was on my doorstep at the exact time I needed it.

I know there have been harder postpartum days than mine, as well as easier, but can we all agree that it’s all hard? No matter what – mamas of their 1st, 2nd, 3rd, or 10th baby are all giving an extra measure than they were before. And giving of yourself ain’t always easy. My hopes for this post are that we would ask for help when we need it and encourage the other in their good work. I fully believe that we can be overwhelmed by our blessings of children, jobs, significant others, family, etc., but as one of my beautiful mama friend’s says: ‘it’s not about perfection, it’s about perseverance.

5 Things to get you Through Winter

February 6, 2018 By lynnaeatoews 2 Comments

Recently, my husband and I were having a conversation about winter and separately we both came to the conclusion that we have to push ourselves to live well in the winter. In this dark and cold season I feel so unmotivated and shlumpy. Winter makes me want to sleep all day, sit around in my sweats, and eat everything I see. Anyone feel me? Like why do baked goods taste so much better in the winter? Although a day here and there like that never hurt anyone, when I find myself wanting to do that every day I fall into a negative mindset and it makes for one long winter. So this winter I have been doing 5 things that bring me joy and refreshment and I have compiled them to share with you.

1. Yoga

Since having my first baby in Sept 2017, I have had zero exercise besides lifting my chubby baby up and down 20 times a day. I have let my body heal and honestly I didn’t feel ready to do any exercise until December. Exercise in the winter can be challenging but I have found if I bring it indoors, I am more likely to do it every day. I did a 30 day yoga challenge on Youtube (Yoga with Adriene people, take advantage of that free stuff) and it helped immensely. It was the perfect thing for me to transition into fitness. Honestly I wanted to quit after day 15 but then I noticed I’d have these nasty mood swings at night and have trouble sleeping when I skipped a day; so in order to be a nicer wife and patient mama, I kept at it. If you’re not a yoga fan and want something more intense, PopSugar.com has some good free videos also. If you are in Homer I would recommend Engage Fitness, a women’s work out class, kids are welcome! Do what works for you, just move that body!

2. Shower

Being a stay at home mom is new territory for me, I’m used to getting up and going to work Monday through Friday where my routine and schedule were created for me. Now that I’m home most days, I can stay in my jammies and greasy hair as long as I want! Sounds great but I have realized its actually not so great if I do it every day. Showering every day is probably a no-brainer to you but somehow the days just all blur together I would realize its been three days and I’m still wearing the same yoga pants from day one. Showering makes me feel like I am getting ready for the day, even if I don’t fully do my hair and make up. I have recognized that if I put effort into getting myself ready for the day, I am more likely to put effort into other things and people that day as well.

3. Create

This winter, my creative work is writing. I felt challenged by the Lord to write every day and in the beginning I thought it was the most annoying thing I have every been asked to do. As it turns out, my little heart is so much happier when I walk through my thoughts, emotions, prayers, and ideas on paper. It has also lead to the creation of this blog, so thats kind of a neat perk as well. This act of creating satisfies me emotionally and spiritually, as well as broadens my perspective to things of larger importance rather than how clean my bathrooms are or how many poopy diapers I’ve changed that day. Creating is something that every human has been given the freedom to do since the Garden of Eden. Creating is vulnerable and ultimately requires a piece of ourselves to come up with a finished product. And through that vulnerability we find joy, satisfaction, and a genuineness with ourselves like nothing else. We have nothing to prove and no way to do it wrong. Some popular creative arts you may like besides writing are: knitting, creating essential oil blends, organizing, watercolor/painting, restoring furniture, thrifting, cooking/baking, crafting, gardening, or anything else that gives you a finished ‘product.’ If you find that you have a hard time doing one of these things every day, pick something tiny that brings you joy each day.

4. Regular Sex

I can’t believe I am talking about sex in my first post (I thought we’d get to know each other a bit more before this) but I’m also committed to being real so I gotta share what I’m actually doing. If you’re not married you can go ahead and skip this one as I believe the best and safest sex for mind, body and soul is within a monogamous relationship with an unwavering commitment to making it work. This topic will probably come up more in-depth in later posts but I’ll leave it at that for now. This regular sex thing is a way for me to be intentional with my husband because I can let it slip by the wayside and then somehow we find ourselves on separate teams instead of rooting for each other. You may be thinking planned sex doesn’t sound so sexy but I think of it no different than a date night. It’s purposefully and intentionally caring about your relationship. For those of you who aren’t married, please don’t take this step as something you are missing out on because you are not ‘getting’ something. Sex is not only about ‘getting’ but mutually ‘giving’ and a means to nurture a relationship by drawing 2 people together in a fun way. For more on that, check out Timothy Keller’s book: The Meaning of Marriage. If you are single or dating, try nurturing a relationship by getting coffee, hiking, watching a movie, or baking cookies with a friend or boyfriend. The focus for item number 4 is to strengthen an important relationship in your life, so do something to two of you enjoy.

5. Set bedtime

I am much more of a night owl than a morning person and the word ‘bed time’ still rubs me the wrong way. The word makes me feel like my freedom is being encroached upon for some reason. I’m sure my parents could ring in and answer why that is; having had to wrangle us into bed every night for years haha. Some habits die hard and I am still working on the bed time goals. There are so many benefits to sleep such as your body healing and bolstering your immune system, being more mentally and physically alert during the day, better skin, less depression and so on. Some tips I have found helpful for going to be earlier are: to wash my face and brush my teeth an hour before I plan to be sleeping, reading before bed instead of watching TV or being on my phone, and stretching for 5 minutes before getting into bed. Having a set bedtime brings routine and consistency to your day and promotes a healthier, well-rested version of yourself!

So there you have it, 5 things to take care of your head, heart, and body and help get you through winter. And maybe with these things you won’t feel like you are simply surviving winter but thriving instead. I would love to hear about some of the things you do to make a great winter, comment below with your tips!

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