Welcome back to the second part of this series on body positivity. If you missed last week’s post on why it is so important to speak well of yourself, check it out here.

We left off last week with the repercussions of speaking hate about your body and this week will be talking about ways we can actually change how we think about ourselves.  Whether you are someone who has struggled with self-image your entire life or you have the occasional dislike of different parts of your body, these strategies can be helpful to all.

The way we talk about our body stems from how we think about our body. The way we think eventually manifests in our actions and words. Body image is a massive topic with many facets of complexity and I am offering my two small cents of strategies to battle some of the negative thoughts we can have about our bodies.

These are strategies that I have used in the past and continue to use today and have made a big difference in my life. I share them with you from a place of non-judgement, compassion, and hope for freedom in your life.

Pride:

To begin, lets talk about pride. Pride has a well-known definition that is closely linked to superiority. It is often connected with a person who feels they are better than others because of their achievements, status, money, or any number of things.

But just as pride in thinking too highly of yourself is foolish, so is pride in thinking too LOWLY of yourself. Inferior pride constantly puts yourself below others because that’s where you think you should be. Both inferior and superior pride essentially say to God, “I don’t care what you say about me, I am going to choose my own value.”

So now lets move on to talking about the practical things we can do to change the way we think about ourselves.

“Judging oneself to be inferior to other people was one of the worst acts of pride he knew, because it was the most destructive way of being different.” Paolo Coelho

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1: Discover a New Voice in Your Head

The inferior pride in my life wasn’t necessarily about my body but just about myself in general. One way that I have found to overcome inferior pride is discovering what the Lord says about who I am.

This was probably the hardest of the 3 strategies I’m going to share because I had to push really hard to let the positive overcome the negative in my head. Discovering who the Lord says I am looked like waking up every morning at 6am for 3 months with my journal and asking God “Who do you see me as?” and writing down what I heard Him say back to me.

I’m not saying you have to wake up at 6 every day but simply creating a space in your day to hear who the Lord says you are is so important. Hearing Him every day consistently puts a new voice in our head and pushes back the lies that have been there for years and years.

When I first started doing this, it was hard not to doubt what I heard. But I knew I was hearing Him right because I would never write those things about myself. I was hearing things that were polar opposite from my own thoughts and so far from what was in my own head.

I had to keep up with this every morning and through it I was able to have a new voice in my head that was so loving, accepting, and encouraging. This strategy is simple in theory, difficult in practice, but worth the effort a million times over.

2: Stop Looking in the Mirror

Stop looking in the mirror. Maybe you’re thinking I left out the word “sometimes” or “as much.” Nope I didn’t. I left them out on purpose.

What I mean here is to take a prolonged break from examining every little detail of your body in the mirror. When I was 16 years old, we were approaching the season of Lent and my youth group leader asked our group if any of us were going to give up something for Lent. I had never done that for Lent before so as I considered it, I had an idea pop into my head that I later realized was from the Lord.

The idea was to give up looking in the mirror for 40 days. I would get ready in the morning in front of the mirror; get dressed, put my makeup on and do my hair. But after that, the rest of the day I would give up looking at myself. I realized that our culture has mirrors literally everywhere!!

And not only mirrors but window reflections on buildings and cars and also puddles (yes I caught myself trying to check myself out in a muddy puddle during Lent, yikes.)

I tried to make a lot of excuses for myself like, “how can I go to the bathroom and wash my hands without looking in the mirror? Its impossible.” But I soon remedied that by staring at my hands while I washed them – a habit that 11 years later I still do unintentionally.

Abstaining from looking in the mirror drastically reduces the amount times we can place judgement on what we look like. On day two of my 40 day fast I realized that my head space for how I looked seemed lighter.

When I snuck a peek into a mirror later that day I realized how I thought I looked in my head was better than what I saw in the mirror. My hair was still fine from that morning and nothing was particularly out of place but as soon as I looked in the mirror my mind went immediately negative.

I could feel my self image rising by day two but needed more time and distance from the negative thoughts. We have an ideal of what we want to look like and every time we look in the mirror we contrast it with the reality of who we are.

If we are looking in a mirror 20x per day, that is 20 disappointments and 20 negative judgements of ourselves that push us deeper into our black hole of self-hate. It takes 21 days to change a bad habit so I would recommend doing at least 3 weeks to give yourself plenty of time to crush those old voices.

3: Avoid Aspects of Social Media

Social media is similar to the role mirrors have on our life. We see other peoples lives, bodies, clothes, kids, boyfriends, husbands, health, or wealth and contrast it with ourselves. There are different areas that trigger our self judgement for each of us.

If you find you are following an account where you constantly feel bad about yourself – simply and easily click unfollow. Maybe this person is even someone you like or possibly consider a friend. If you are not strong in staying positive and true in your self-talk, it is not worth following all of their best moments posted on social media.

Fill your feed with things and people that encourage you, not things that weigh you down. I often just take regular breaks from visiting any social media site for a few days at a time. Sometimes longer. I find a lot of freedom when I put limits on what I allow into my heart.

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Some of my strategies may seem a little drastic but we are attempting to carve out new patterns of thought and that isn’t an easy thing to do. Years of lies are not crushed in a day or a week. Just as they have been built day by day, they will be broken down day by day.

I wouldn’t say to do all three of these strategies at once as I would imagine it would be overwhelming. If you are going to pick just one, asking who God sees you as would be the best place to start. His words are ultimately the most powerful in the universe and get right to the heart of who you are.

While hearing His words adds truth to your life, the other two strategies are more of minimizing negativity and lies in your life.

You are wholly and fully loved for your mind, strength, and beauty. All that you are is more than enough. Your worthiness is not dependent on your achievements, degrees, prayers, relationship status, or the tightness of your stomach. You are loved with an ever lasting love that goes beyond anything we can ever imagine.

“God told them: ‘I’ve never quit loving you and never will. Expect love, love, and more love! And so now I’ll start over with you and build you up again, dear virgin Israel. You’ll resume your singing, grabbing tambourines and joining the dance.” Jer. 31:3 MSG